Red Flags to Watch for in a New Relationship (Before Your Heart Gets Too Attached!)

Hey there, lovebirds and skeptics alike! 🌹

Starting a new relationship is exciting. The butterflies! The late-night texts! The overwhelming urge to put their name next to yours in your notes app (don’t lie; we’ve all been there). But before you dive headfirst into your rom-com moment, let’s have a heart-to-heart about spotting those red flags early on. Because while love is blind, your intuition should be wearing 20/20 glasses.

The early stages of a relationship should be fun, flirty, and full of connection—but they’re also the best time to assess whether this person is really the one or just another lesson in your dating journey. While no one is perfect, certain behaviors can be warning signs that a relationship might not be as healthy as it seems.

So, grab your coffee (or wine, no judgment), and let’s talk about the red flags you should never ignore when getting to know someone new. 🚩

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1. The Communication Houdini

If they disappear faster than your phone battery when you’re scrolling TikTok, that’s a big ol’ red flag. 🪄💨

We all understand that life gets busy, but communication is the backbone of any healthy relationship. If they’re hot and cold—super engaged one day and MIA the next—it’s worth questioning their level of interest. Do they respond inconsistently, take forever to text back, or only reach out when it’s convenient for them? Worse, do they make excuses about being "bad at texting" while somehow always online?

A person who truly wants to build something with you will make an effort, no matter how hectic their schedule is. If they’re already playing the disappearing act in the honeymoon phase, imagine what’ll happen when life gets real. Relationships thrive on consistency—not cryptic messages and ghosting games.

2. All Their Exes Are “Crazy”

Listen, we’ve all got a dramatic ex or two in our dating history. But if every ex they mention sounds like a villain in their life story, it’s worth asking: what’s the common denominator here? 🚩

It’s one thing to have had a bad breakup, but if they constantly bash their exes, it could signal a lack of accountability. A mature person acknowledges that relationships are a two-way street, and both partners contribute to the dynamic. If they act like a helpless victim in every past relationship, there’s a good chance they’ll do the same with you.

Plus, think about this: if they’re comfortable trash-talking their exes now, how will they talk about you if things don’t work out? A partner who respects their past relationships (even the failed ones) is far more likely to handle future conflicts with maturity.

3. They Treat Waitstaff (and Everyone Else) Poorly

You can learn a lot about someone based on how they treat others—especially people who aren’t in a position to do anything for them.

Are they rude to servers at restaurants? Dismissive toward retail workers? Short-tempered with customer service reps? 🚫 These behaviors might seem small, but they reveal so much about a person’s character. How someone acts in everyday interactions speaks volumes about how they handle stress, disappointment, and relationships in general.

A person who lacks basic kindness or respect for others is someone who will eventually treat you the same way—especially when the honeymoon phase wears off. And let’s be real, life is too short to date someone who snaps at a barista over oat milk.

4. Fast-Forwarding the Relationship

“You’re my soulmate.” “I’ve never felt this way before.” “Let’s plan a trip together”—and it’s only been a few weeks? 🚀

Love bombing might feel flattering at first, but it’s often a tactic used to create an intense emotional attachment before you’ve had time to really assess the relationship. If someone is pushing for major milestones too soon—moving in, meeting the family, talking about marriage—take a step back and evaluate.

Real love takes time to develop. It’s built on genuine connection, not whirlwind intensity. If you feel like things are moving at warp speed before you’ve had a chance to process your feelings, it’s okay to hit the brakes. A healthy relationship should unfold naturally, not feel like a high-speed chase.

5. The Inconsistent Energy

One day, they’re texting you heart emojis and making big plans; the next, they’re distant and vague. If their energy feels like a rollercoaster, it’s a major red flag. 🎢

Inconsistent behavior is confusing and emotionally exhausting. It often indicates that someone is unsure of what they want—or worse, that they’re keeping their options open. If you feel like you’re constantly second-guessing where you stand, that’s a problem.

A person who is serious about you will make their intentions clear. You shouldn’t have to decode their feelings like some kind of romantic escape room. Relationships should bring clarity, not confusion.

6. No Interest in Your Interests

You’re a whole, vibrant human with unique passions and hobbies—so why does it feel like your interests don’t exist when you’re around them?

If they never ask about your hobbies, dismiss your passions, or seem uninterested in what excites you, take note. A healthy relationship involves mutual curiosity and appreciation for both people’s lives. It doesn’t mean they need to love everything you love, but they should care because you care.

A partner who is only invested in talking about themselves—or worse, who belittles the things that bring you joy—isn’t someone who values you fully. And let’s be real, you deserve more than a one-sided relationship.

7. Secretive Behavior

Does their phone never leave their hand? Do they dodge questions about their past? Do they get weirdly vague when you ask simple things like, “What did you do today?”

While everyone has the right to privacy, there’s a difference between being private and being secretive. If you feel like you’re constantly in the dark about their life, it’s worth questioning why.

Healthy relationships are built on trust and transparency. You don’t need to know every detail of their past, but if they’re consistently withholding basic information—or if you feel like you’re solving a mystery instead of building a connection—trust your gut. 🚩

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Trust Your Gut when looking for red flags in relationships!

At the end of the day, your intuition is your best friend. If something feels off, it probably is. Relationships should bring peace, not paranoia. If you find yourself justifying their behavior or constantly making excuses for them, take a step back and reassess.

The beginning of a relationship is the best time to evaluate whether someone is right for you. Don’t ignore the warning signs just because the chemistry is great or because you really want it to work. The right person won’t leave you feeling confused, unimportant, or exhausted.

What red flags have you spotted in past relationships? Drop them in the comments so we can all learn together! And if this post helped you, share it with your friends—because everyone deserves to know when to walk away. 💖

Until next time, Chey ✨