Rediscovering Your Spark After Being with a Narcissist
- Chey With A Blog
- Dec 27, 2024
- 4 min read
Updated: Feb 14

Let’s get real for a second: being in a relationship with a narcissist can feel like running a marathon with no finish line. At first, it’s all glitter and fireworks; they charm the socks off you, make you feel like the main character, and then… poof. Suddenly, it’s less about your needs and more about their reflection in your shiny surface. Over time, you start losing pieces of yourself. Your light dims. Your spark? Barely a flicker.
But guess what? You can get it back—all of it! Your spark, your confidence, your sense of self. If you’re ready to reclaim you, keep reading for tips to reignite that inner fire and shine like the radiant star you are.
Rediscovering Your Spark After Being with a Narcissist
If you’ve ever been tangled in the web of a narcissist, you know it’s not just a relationship—it’s an emotional rollercoaster that leaves you feeling like a shadow of who you once were. You’ve probably asked yourself, “Who even am I anymore?” Let’s talk about reclaiming your magic and rediscovering that incredible person who’s been hiding underneath all the chaos.
When you’re with a narcissist, everything tends to orbit around them. They have an uncanny ability to gaslight, manipulate, and guilt-trip their way into the center of your world. You might start questioning your decisions, doubting your worth, or suppressing your own desires just to keep the peace. Over time, you forget what made you special in the first place.
Sound familiar? If it does, it’s time to take back the reins of your life. The road to rediscovery may be bumpy, but it’s so worth it.
5 Tips to Get Your Spark Back
1. Date Yourself (Yes, Really!)
Remember when you used to know exactly what you wanted to do on a Saturday? Bring that energy back! Take yourself out to that cute café you’ve been eyeing, binge-watch your favorite guilty pleasure show, or pick up a hobby that’s just for you. Treating yourself with love and attention is the ultimate way to reconnect with your passions and interests.
Pro Tip: Solo picnics are highly underrated—pack your favorite snacks, grab a good book, and bask in your own company.
2. Get Back to What Makes You Happy
What used to light you up before the narcissist entered the picture? Was it dancing like no one’s watching, trying new recipes, or binge-watching crime documentaries? Revisit those passions and let yourself indulge in them guilt-free. Start small—maybe it’s as simple as blasting your favorite playlist and singing at the top of your lungs in the car.
When’s the last time you treated yourself? Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s survival. Take yourself on solo dates, buy that ridiculously overpriced candle, or book a spa day. Show yourself the love and attention you deserve.
Pro Tip: Create a “Me Playlist” full of songs that make you feel unstoppable.
"Hey, remember that thing you used to do just because it made you smile? It's still there, waiting for you. Life’s too short to forget what lights you up—go get back to it. Your happiness deserves a comeback tour!"
3. Set Boundaries Like a Pro
Narcissists are boundary bulldozers. Reclaiming your spark means learning to say no without feeling bad about it. Practice in small steps: start by setting boundaries with friends or coworkers and then work your way up. Remember, “no” is a complete sentence.
One of the toughest lessons you’ll learn post-narcissist is how to set boundaries. But here’s the thing: boundaries are your secret weapon. They’re not about keeping people out; they’re about protecting your energy and making space for things (and people) that truly matter.
Reminder: “No” is a complete sentence. Practice saying it in the mirror if you need to!
4. Find Your Tribe
You don’t have to go through this alone. Surround yourself with people who lift you up, make you laugh, and remind you how amazing you are. Whether it’s old friends, family, or even a support group, having a solid tribe makes the healing journey so much sweeter.
Pro Tip: Join a community centered around one of your interests. You’ll make new connections and rediscover what lights you up.
"Find your tribe—the ones who light you up, cheer the loudest for your wins, and hold you steady in the storms. Life’s too short for anything less!"
5. Start Dreaming Big Again
A narcissist’s world is all about them, and your dreams often take a backseat. It’s time to take those dreams out of storage. Grab a journal and write down your wildest ambitions, no matter how big or small. Then, map out one tiny step you can take today to move closer to one of them.
Pro Tip: Create a vision board to keep your goals front and center.
Final Thoughts
Rediscovering Your Spark After Being with a Narcissist isn’t easy, but it’s absolutely possible. With every step you take, you’ll rediscover the vibrant, unstoppable, sparkly version of yourself that’s been there all along. Remember, you’re not just a survivor; you’re a thriver. And let’s be real: the world needs your sparkle.
So, here’s to taking your power back—one bold, beautiful step at a time.
What’s Your Spark Story? Have you gone through a similar journey? Share your experience or tips in the comments below. Let’s create a community where we lift each other up and keep the sparks flying!

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